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  Rocky seemed to accept the answer, and the blonde once again found the rapidly awakening sights and sounds of London beyond the cafe window fascinating.

  Jo took a moment to study the blonde. Rocky had taken her hat off, and her gloves, but still wore the large, heavy coat. The coat appeared to be army surplus, as did the trousers and boots.

  Jo decided that Rocky must cut her own hair, though she hadn't made a bad job of it. The blonde locks still fell into her eyes, and she would occasionally push it away, running her fingers across her eyebrows as she did so.

  Although Jo knew Rocky to be about 20 years of age, she decided that she looked at least three years younger, and was amazed that the young woman had survived for the five years that Edna told her of, out on the streets. The hard facade that Rocky wanted to project was softened in the early morning light filtering through the dirty window. Now the girl just looked tired, and lost.

  "I was surprised when you rang me," Jo said, unable to stand the silence any more.

  Rocky closed her eyes. "I talked to Edna last night."

  Two plates full of steaming food clattering onto their table made both women jump.

  "Good grief!" said Jo, looking wide-eyed at the huge pile of food in front of her.

  "Sauces?" asked the man.

  Rocky tore her eyes from the startled-looking woman opposite her. "Red and brown," she said with a chuckle.

  Both women were silent for a while as they tucked into their breakfast. Jo was pleasantly surprised that the stuff was edible, and was also pleased to see Rocky attacking the meal with great enthusiasm.

  "You said you spoke to Edna," Jo said, laying her fork down on her plate.

  "Yes, I did." Rocky slowed her eating, looking up to see Jo leaning back in her chair, wiping her hands on a napkin. The dark-haired woman then pushed her half-empty plate to one side and leaned forward, her elbows on the table.

  "Would you talk to me?" Jo asked, resting her chin on her linked hands.

  Rocky looked up from her all but empty plate and carefully put her knife and fork down on it.

  "I've been out here for just about five years," Rocky said, so quietly that Jo had to strain to hear her over the conversations of the other patrons in the cafe. "In the beginning I was lost. I wouldn't have survived long if it hadn't been for Edna and Tom."

  "Tom?" asked Jo, taking a sip of tea, surprised that it tasted like tea.

  "He died, about a year ago."

  "I'm sorry," said Jo, not really knowing how close this Tom had been to Rocky.

  The blonde shrugged. "A lot of people I've known since I've been out here have died. It happens."

  Jo was quiet, wanting Rocky to continue.

  "I arrived at Victoria Station on an autumn day. I wasn't really sure where I was going or what I was doing." She looked up to find blue eyes regarding her intently. "That's when I saw Edna."

  "Why were you there alone, Rocky?" Jo immediately realised her mistake when the blonde stood abruptly and gathered her bags.

  Jo cursed, realised she'd pushed too much too soon, and caused a couple of the other customers to jump as she pushed the chair back and followed the blonde out of the cafe.

  "Rocky!" she called to the rapidly moving form. She jogged to catch up with the girl and positioned herself in front of her. "I'm sorry," she said, breathing hard. "I didn't mean to push."

  Rocky's shoulders slumped, and her head bowed. "It's me," she mumbled. "Not you." Rocky sighed, and looked up into Jo's concerned face. "Thanks for the breakfast."

  Jo shrugged. "You're welcome. Is there anything else I can do?"

  A small smile crossed the blonde's face. "I'd like to see the countryside."

  "You would?" Jo's face lit up, a hundred different locations flitting through her mind. "Anywhere in particular?"

  "I don't know anywhere around here. I wouldn't want you to have to go too far."

  "We could be in Scotland by this afternoon if you wanted," said Jo with enthusiasm.

  Rocky chuckled, and Jo, deciding it was the most adorable sound she'd ever heard, followed suit.

  "I think Scotland's a little far. Do you know anywhere nearer?"

  Jo reached over and took one of Rocky's bags, and gestured in the direction they would need to go to find her car. "We can go to Epping Forest, it shouldn't take much more than an hour. How does that sound?"

  "Sounds good," said Rocky. "I haven't been out of the city for over five years; it'll be good to see the countryside again."

  "Come on then," said Jo, and hoped this would be just the beginning of a longer journey for them.

  Part 10

  The two women arrived back at Jo's car, and the taller woman opened the vehicle using the remote on her key ring. Walking to the rear of the car, she opened the boot and stood to one side as Rocky put her bag in the back. She then threw in the one she had been carrying.

  She walked around the Merc to the driver's side, and looked at the blonde over the roof of the car.

  Rocky was standing looking at the silver-grey vehicle, her hand hovering over the door handle.

  "You might want to take off your jacket," said Jo, and eased her long frame into the driver's seat.

  Rocky still stood unmoving, and Jo leaned across and opened the passenger door. "Are you okay?" she asked.

  Receiving no answer, she got out of the car and walked around the front, standing before the silent girl and ducking her head to better see the tense face. "What's wrong?"

  Rocky shook her head. "I'm not sure. It's been a long time since I was in a car. I suppose that's it."

  "Would you rather we didn't...?"

  "No!" Jo took a step back at the exclamation. "No," Rocky repeated. "I really want to get away, just for a couple of hours."

  "We can do that." Jo held her hand out. "Let me take your jacket."

  Rocky hesitated for a moment, then began lowering the long zip on the ex-army jacket. She pulled it off her shoulders and handed it to her friend. She felt strangely exposed and wrapped her arms about herself before quickly opening the car door and sitting in the passenger seat.

  Jo walked around the car, the large jacket folded over her arm. To her it was a small victory, getting through the first layer of the complex and beautiful young woman. She leaned into the back and put the jacket on the small rear seat, then settled in beside Rocky who was fastening her seat belt.

  She glanced sideways at her travelling companion. Without the bulky jacket she looked much smaller. She was wearing a grey sweatshirt, which, she decided, was still the top layer of many others. The sweatshirt was cleaner than she thought it would be. The collar of a red check shirt poked out of the top of the sweatshirt. It was frayed and crumpled, but again looked clean.

  "Right then, Epping," said Jo, starting the car and putting it into gear. She turned the heating on full and the CD player down low. "Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?" she asked, glancing to her left at the girl who was watching the passing cars.

  Rocky shook her head, not looking across at Jo, who returned her attention to the road. Traffic was heavy now, and she picked her way through it carefully.

  It was just over half an hour later. Jo had made her way onto the A11 and then onto the A104 more commonly known as the Epping New Road. Some time during the journey she had noticed Rocky's head bobbing as the blonde fought the pull of sleep. When eventually the tousled fair head fell forward, Jo steered the car off the road into a lay-by and eased the girl against the seat back. She pressed a button on the centre console between the seats and the back of the passenger seat reclined slightly. Making sure that Rocky was still safely secured within her seatbelt, she reached down for the handbrake, only to find that the blonde's hand had slipped off her lap and onto the handbrake lever.

  Jo picked Rocky's small hand up, turning it over in her own and gently rubbing her thumb against the palm. There was a small amount of dirt beneath the fingernails, but the palm was soft and the fingers closed gently around her own.

/>   It took a great effort for Jo to place the sleeping woman's hand back in Rocky's lap. Looking into the peaceful face, she smiled gently and once again put the car into gear.

  Jo was watching two workmen enjoying a cup of tea whilst waiting for the lights to change to green. The traffic lights were temporary; some distance back she had passed a sign apologising for the delay due to `essential works`. She glanced to her left, a gentle smile forming on her lips as she took in the features of the sleeping girl. She looked so young. The hand that Jo had placed back in her lap was now curled just beneath her chin, the other hand covering it. It almost looked as if she was trying to cover herself, trying to protect herself, even in sleep.

  The lights changed to green and Jo pulled away. Immediately after the lights she saw a sign indicating the route to take for a picnic area. The small road took her deeper into the forest, the bare trees blocking out what little there was of the dull daylight. There had been a gentle fall of snow as Jo was driving, but now that had stopped, though the clouds still threatened.

  She pulled into the small car park for the picnic area, and, as she expected, it was empty. She left the engine running, knowing how quickly the car would get cold without the benefit of the heater. And she also wanted to take the opportunity to study the woman sleeping so peacefully next to her.

  Not so peacefully, she decided, as Rocky began to mumble in her sleep. The blonde head rocked from side to side, her forehead creasing in her growing alarm. "No." The word seemed torn from Rocky's throat.

  "Hey." Jo laid a gentle hand on Rocky's arm. Instead of soothing the girl, however, Rocky lurched away from the touch. She threw herself against the restricting seat belt, her legs coming up and catching the underside of the front console.

  "No!" Again the agonising cry tore itself from her lips. She flailed her arms, catching Jo across the bridge of her nose, and struggling against the hands that attempted to calm her.

  "Rocky!" cried Jo, an edge of panic in her voice.

  Green eyes snapped open, and Jo saw firsthand the panic and terror in them. "Don't touch me!" Rocky screamed. "I can't..." Blue eyes, wide with fear, brought her back to the present from the terrifying place sleep had taken her.

  Jo held her hands up, so that the blonde could see them. Then she slowly lowered them to the steering wheel, watching as Rocky brought shaking hands to her face. "Oh God." Her voice was muffled behind her hands, but Jo heard the pain in it and slowly reached down to release the seatbelt that strained as Rocky leaned forward. Jo also pushed the button to bring the back of the girl's seat to the upright position.

  "I fell asleep," Rocky said, pushing dishevelled hair back from her face, and wiping away tears that had flowed suddenly.

  "It's warm in here." Jo's hands slipped from the steering wheel to her thighs. She wanted nothing more than to reach for the distressed girl and pull her into an embrace. Instead she balled her hands into fists and watched as Rocky struggled with the aftermath of the dream.

  Rocky nodded, dropping her head onto her chest, feeling more tired now than before she fell asleep. Then she raised her head and looked around. "Where are we?"

  "Epping Forest. It's quiet, no-one else about." Jo couldn't take her eyes from the girl, who was about managing to get her breathing under control again. "Are you alright?"

  "Yeah, sorry." Rocky gave her a weak smile. "Shall we take a look around?"

  Jo leaned forward and shut off the engine, then reached in the back and dragged Rocky's jacket across the back of the seats, depositing it in her lap. "You'll be glad you took this off now - it's going to be cold out there."

  Rocky took the jacket from her and then stepped out into the cold before putting it on. She looked around her. "It's so peaceful." Her voice was almost a whisper, maybe in reverence to the almost church-like silence around them.

  "My nanny used to bring me here when I was a child," said Jo as she shrugged on her own jacket, pulling up the collar against the cold. She activated the door lock and the alarm and then joined Rocky as they headed for one of the dirt paths that led into the woods.

  "You had a nanny?" said the blonde as she fell into step alongside the taller woman.

  "Yeah, her name was Catherine. She was nanny to all of us."

  Rocky pulled on her two pairs of gloves, and then pulled her hat out of a large pocket, jamming it onto her head. "How many of you are there?"

  "I have a sister and a brother, both older than me." She bit her bottom lip, then asked: "What about you?"

  Rocky's step didn't slow, but she kept her head down, watching her boots as they scuffed through the fallen leaves. "I don't have any brothers or sisters."

  Jo looked down at the tense profile. "Sometimes I wished I didn't. Being the youngest, I was picked on by both of them."

  "What did your parents do?" asked Rocky quietly. "They must have been busy to have a nanny."

  "Not busy really," admitted Jo. "It was just the done thing."

  Rocky stopped. "Jo, I know your parents are wealthy; what exactly do they do?"

  Jo had walked a couple of steps ahead of Rocky when the blonde stopped, and she turned to face her, wondering if telling Rocky who exactly she was would have an effect on their friendship. "My father is Lord Collingford."

  "Christ. Then you are ...?" Rocky plunged her hands further into her pockets, her head cocked to one side regarding the uncomfortable-looking woman standing on the muddy path ahead of her.

  "My title is Lady Joanna Holbrook-Sutherland. I rarely use it though."

  "It is a mouthful," said Rocky, and resumed her walk along the woodland path.

  "So it doesn't bother you?" asked Jo, falling into step alongside the blonde.

  "No, should it?" Rocky thought for a moment. "My being a vagrant should bother you more."

  "Don't call yourself that."

  "Why? It's what I am."

  "You are homeless. Not a vagrant."

  "A vagrant is homeless."

  Jo sighed. "Yeah, but the word paints pictures of drunks sitting around a fire. I can't see you doing that."

  "I have done," said Rocky. "Sometimes, when things get really bad out there, I take a drink or three."

  "Why are you out there, Rocky?"

  Green eyes found hers, and Jo watched as a hundred different emotions played across the pale face. For a long moment Jo thought that Rocky was going to ignore her, and again she wondered if she'd pushed too much too early.

  "I wanted to disappear. I didn't have the strength to be where I was, I couldn't fight. So I decided to disappear." Rocky continued walking along the muddy path, her eyes fixed on the ground a few feet ahead of her. "I knew I could lose myself in London. And I did. I've never claimed a penny in benefit; as far as anyone is concerned, I'm dead."

  The last word made Jo shiver, but she put it down to the dipping temperature rather than the emotionless way in which Rocky spoke the word.

  "I can't imagine how you manage without money." Jo raised her hands to her mouth and blew on them, cursing the fact that she didn't have gloves.

  "There are plenty of organisations that help people like me. Salvation Army, Christians, Buddhists, all sorts. I can get a hot meal at least once a day. And when my clothes become too threadbare I can get replacements."

  "And if you become ill?"

  "I don't. I've only had a couple of colds since I've been out here. I've been lucky. Edna gets me some of the things I need." She chuckled. "I think the folks at the Sally Army still wonder what a woman of her age needs tampons for."

  Jo chuckled with her, but it faded quickly.

  "Would you let me help you?"

  Rocky sighed. "I still don't understand why, Jo. What brought you to Whitechapel?"

  "Edna says something about destiny." Jo took a step towards the blonde. "Do you feel anything at all?" Jo had listened to Rocky's brief description of her life, and found she needed to find a way to get Rocky out of the cold, and into her life.

  Rocky's head dropped, unable to h
old the taller woman's gaze.

  "You do, don't you?" said Jo.

  The blonde head nodded. "I don't understand it. And it scares me."

  Jo reached out putting a hand on each of Rocky's shoulders. "What is there to be afraid of?"

  "I've learned to live with nothing, and not to want anything. Now I want something, and if..." She drew in a deep shuddering breath, unable, for the moment, to continue.

  "What do you want, Rocky?" Jo lifted the pale face, now wet with tears.

  Rocky's eyes were closed, tears forcing themselves from between tightly closed eyelids. "I want you." Her voice broke and her head fell forward onto Jo's chest as the dark woman pulled her close.

  Jo was lost for words. She held on tight to the sobbing woman in her arms, resting her chin on the top of Rocky's hat-covered head.

  "I can't believe I'm crying again," sniffled Rocky, leaning heavily into Jo. Her arms tentatively wound around Jo's waist, and found a certain comfort. It was the same feeling she got from her dreams, the dreams that were always chased away by the nightmares. "I cried last night as well."

  Jo pulled away slightly, looking down at the shorter woman. "You did? Why was that?"

  Rocky wiped a sleeve across her face. "I was talking to Edna." She looked up, a slightly embarrassed smile across her face. "About you."

  "Really?" said Jo, and turned them both so that they were making their way down the path once more. She kept an arm around the blonde's shoulders as they walked, needing for the time being to have some contact with Rocky.

  Rocky leaned into Jo as they walked. "Edna seems to think you're some kind of knight in shining armour, come to save me."

  "And what do you think?"

  "I don't know what to think. I want..." Rocky chuckled. "There I go breaking my rules again." She rubbed her face vigorously with her hands. "I want to believe you. But like you said. You're a lady. Why do you want to help me?"

  Jo squeezed the shoulders of the girl walking alongside her. "I've dreamed about you too. In the dream you turned away from me. I was devastated. I felt so lost. So I decided if I did find you, I wouldn't let you walk away, because I couldn't stand to feel like that again."